What follows is a discourse that has never taken place, but which could well do so, if I should ever encounter an "activist" who disregards real issues in order to pressure sports programs or franchises into being "sensitive."
Activist [foaming at the mouth]: It's racist and offensive to name teams for Native Americans!
Doman [jadedly]: First of all, most American Indians don't even call themselves "Native Americans"—except with a small initial "n," to mean that they were born as citizens of this country. "Native" refers to condition of birth; it has nothing to do with who got here first.
Activist: All right, then: Native American Indians!
Doman: As opposed to what: Indians who were born in Sweden, and emigrated to the USA? To get to the point, though: You "activists" ram American Indian culture down everyone's throat, yet revile sports teams that draw upon that very culture as "perpetuating negative stereotypes." Do you, then, have a "negative" view of American Indian civilization?
Activist [afraid, and unable, to answer the non-rhetorical question]: If it's not racist, why aren't there teams named for White people?
Doman: There are. Have you heard of the New York Yankees? Or the Montreal Canadiens, Boston Celtics, Vancouver Canucks, Minnesota Vikings, Houston Texans, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Southern California Trojans, Michigan State Spartans, Oklahoma Sooners, Iowa Hawkeyes, Indiana Hoosiers, et cetera, or the former Quebec Nordiques (who moved to San Diego or some such hotbed of ice hockey)? There were and are many lesser-known others, such as the collegiate Idaho Vandals or the defunct Kitchener-Waterloo Dutchmen.
Teams were named for American Indians for the same reason why many others were named for animals or for forces of nature. Just as people who root for Kentucky or for Miami (of Florida) want their athletes to emulate the ferocity of wildcats or the power of hurricanes, those who root for the Atlanta Braves or the Kansas City Chiefs admire the fighting prowess of the Indians with whom our ancestors clashed. Not only, therefore, is the giving of Indian-nicknames not intended as an offense to the aboriginal peoples of the Americas, it's complimentary to them.
Activist: What you say is logical, but, because I'm a leftist, logic unsettles me. My crusade may be paranoid, quixotic, and hypocritical, but I'll never admit that to anyone else, because I have a stake in seeing it continue.
Doman: That doesn't matter, because the text of our conversation can be viewed on the Doman Domain.
Activist: What?
