26 September 2010

Uncommon Commentary #128: And the Average Usan Woman's Girdle Can Be a Temporary Shelter

Have you heard about the "emergency bra?"  This brainchild of I-don't-know-whom is a brassiere that doubles as a pair of oxygen masks.  Apparently the idea is that, when she needs to cover her nose and mouth, a woman who had the foresight to wear this can take it off, separate the cups from one another, and use the straps to secure one of them to her head; the other can be given to someone else.  This presents more than one interesting scenario.
It evidently is possible to remove a brassiere without taking off the garment that one is wearing over it, but, in the panic of an emergency situation, would the average woman take the time to do it that way, or would she simply strip off her outerwear and then do the same with the "emergency bra?"  Will it occur to male pilots to fake a crisis during a commercial flight, and then, snickering, peek through the door that leads from the cabin toward the passenger section, to see whether any of the female passengers have bared their breasts for the sake of saving their lives?
Is there significance in the bright-red color?  That is to say, is it designed to show through a blouse, with the result that someone who lacks a mask will (acting under the same panic that I mentioned in the preceding paragraph) accost a woman, saying "I don't want to die, Lady!  Give me your bra!"  Might men tear off the clothes of women dressed in opaque outfits, in the hope that those women are wearing the "emergency bra?"
Since about half the world's population is male, and the "emergency bra" has two cups apiece, it would seem convenient for all of us if every woman in the world were to wear this item of lingerie.  I suspect, though, that many a woman would feel some discomfort at the prospect of a man's putting over his nose and mouth something that, only a moment earlier, was covering one of her breasts.
Finally, it should be noted that the "emergency bra" has actually won an award.  Since when is there an award for "Weird Invention of the Year?"