Uncommon Commentary #348: A Suggestion that Makes MO' Sense

Here's a better idea than "statehood" for the District of Columbia, which, if it should become the fifty-first "state" [see Uncommon Commentary #340 and the footnote to Miscellaneous Musing #9], would be easily and ridiculously the smallest such unit: transfer the US capital to Saint Louis, Missouri, which there was indeed a movement to do in the 1870's, and return what is now the D. of C. to Maryland.  Lest readers think that I want to bring misery to Missouri and turn Maryland into a merry land, it ought to be noted that this does not mean that we would need to appropriate land to become an equivalent of the District of Columbia; the practice of having federal territory to contain the capital city has been (presumably) imitated by countries like Mexico and Australia, but it really serves no purpose.  Note also that St. Louis, MO has advantages over Washington, DC: being farther inland, the former is safer from attack by foreign armed forces; and, as a Christian, I'd rather have a capital named for a saint than for our first president, who, contrary to his usual portrayal, was far from saintly!