about "The Best Comic Strip Ever!"

The characters in my strip, set in Africa's Western Rift Valley, are: the Foolish Pride of lions (Leon, the haughty and lethargic King of Beasts; his queen, Leona; and their cub Lionel, an unpromising heir to the throne); Secretary Bird, a liason between the Royal Court and the rest of the animals; cerebral, man-imitating Ape, a reader of the Substandard; peevish Rhinoceros; harmless but senseless Ostrich; Crocodile, resident of the much-frequented Watering Hole, and his dentist, Crocodile Bird; Honey Badger (alias Ratel), the "Meanest Animal in the World", and his one associate, Honeyguide; Mumbo the elephant, a descendant of Jumbo and a butt of jokes about his weight and the size of his ears and nose; Duncan the dung beetle; ill-favored and unwashed Warthog; the craven, henpecked male and shrewish female hyaenas, both of them foul-smelling and perpetually at war vs. the lions; the mistaken-identity-plagued zebras; slow and superannuated Tortoise; Oxpecker, a companion of large herbivores; Hugh the chamaeleon; and walled-up Mrs. Hornbill.

The Best Comic Strip Ever!

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11 May 2012

Uncommon Commentary #263: Why Can't it Be These Banks That Fail?

Sperm banks often present their business as noble dedication to the cause of reproductive fertility; the idea is that a woman whose mate is unable to father offspring can avail herself of donated sperm to produce a child who is half theirs, which, as the theory goes, is better than having none. There are, however, several moral problems with this.
God did not intend that the means of sexual reproduction should become items of commerce, or that women should bear children that are begotten by men other than their husbands.
Masturbation is almost certainly necessary to make a donation, since it's hard (if amusing) to imagine someone interrupting sexual intercourse to fill a vial or some other such receptacle. Moreover, in degenerate modern civilization, which has removed the stigma from unwed motherhood, many a woman undoubtedly makes use of such facilities to try to conceive the child of her dreams (see the next paragraph) without having to marry anyone. We don't need sperm banks to advance the cause of sexual immorality; we have public schools and mass media.
A recent news item, concerning the fact that a sperm bank in Denmark will accept no further contributions from redheads, demonstrates that use of such institutions can be a form of genetic engineering. Donors to the California Cryobank [sic] have to meet such requirements as being above average height and be either holding or working toward a bachelor's (or higher) degree; potential stud bulls must also answer questions about their hair color, eye color, ethnic origin, &c.
Finally, why resort to such a process when there are so many children awaiting adoption? A couple may consider it a misfortune that they cannot reproduce without outside help, but they can change their misfortune into good fortune for an orphan, by giving him a loving home.